Waltey

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It is also told that one night the Caliph Harun al-Rashid grew restless and summoned his vizier. When he appeared before him, the Caliph said, “Ja‘far, I am sorely troubled tonight, and my heart is heavy. I want something from you to cheer my spirits and ease my breast.” Ja‘far replied, “Commander of the Faithful, I have a friend named Ali al-Ajami, who knows delightful tales and stories that gladden the soul and banish sorrow from the heart.” “Bring him to me,” said the Caliph. “I hear and obey,” replied Ja‘far. He left the Caliph’s presence and sent for al-Ajami. When he arrived, Ja‘far said, “Answer the summons of the Commander of the Faithful.” “I hear and obey,” he replied. But dawn overtook Shahrazad, and she fell silent, leaving her tale untold.

When it was the two hundred and ninety-fifth night

She said: It has reached me, O fortunate King, that al-Ajami replied, “I hear and obey.” Then he accompanied Ja‘far to the Caliph. When he stood before him, the Caliph bade him sit, and he sat down. “Ali,” said the Caliph, “my heart is heavy tonight. I have heard that you know tales and stories, and I wish you to tell me something that will dispel my cares and clear my mind.” He replied, “Commander of the Faithful, shall I tell you what I have seen with my own eyes, or what I have heard with my own ears?” “If you have seen something, tell it,” said the Caliph. “I hear and obey,” he replied. “Know, Commander of the Faithful, that one year I set out from my native city of Baghdad, accompanied by a servant carrying a small leather bag. We entered a certain city, and while I was buying and selling, a brutal, overbearing Kurd suddenly rushed at me, seized the bag, and declared, ‘This bag is mine, and everything in it belongs to me!’ I cried, ‘O Muslims, deliver me from the clutches of this wicked tyrant!’ Everyone said, ‘Go to the judge, and agree to abide by his decision.’ So we went to the judge, whose judgment I was willing to accept. When we entered and stood before him, he asked, ‘What brings you here? What is your case?’ I replied, ‘We are two disputants who have come before you, and we agree to abide by your judgment.’ ‘Which of you is the claimant?’ he asked. The Kurd stepped forward and said, ‘May God uphold our lord the judge! This bag is mine, and everything in it belongs to me. I lost it, and found it in this man’s possession.’ ‘When did you lose it?’ asked the judge. ‘Yesterday,’ replied the Kurd, ‘and I spent a sleepless night over its loss.’ The judge said, ‘If you recognize it, describe its contents to me.’ The Kurd replied, ‘In this bag of mine are two silver kohl sticks, eye paint, a hand towel, two gilded drinking vessels, and two candlesticks. It also contains two houses, two plates, two spoons, a cushion, two leather mats, two ewers, a tray, two basins, a cooking pot, two earthenware jars, a ladle, a packing needle, two provision bags, a cat, two bitches, a wooden bowl, two baskets, a robe, two fur coats, a cow, two calves, a she-goat, two sheep, a ewe, two kids, two green pavilions, a camel, two she-camels, a she-buffalo, two bulls, a lioness, two lions, a she-bear, two foxes, a mattress, two bedsteads, a palace, two halls, a gallery, two reception rooms, a kitchen with two doors, and a company of Kurds who will testify that the bag is mine.’

“The judge said, ‘And what have you to say, fellow?’ I stepped forward, Commander of the Faithful, quite dumbfounded by the Kurd’s words, and said, ‘May God exalt our lord the judge! In this bag of mine there is nothing but a little ruined house, another without a door, a chamber for dogs, a school for boys, young men playing knucklebones, tents and tent ropes, the cities of Basra and Baghdad, the palace of Shaddad son of Ad, a blacksmith’s forge, a fisherman’s net, sticks and stakes, girls and boys, and a thousand pimps who will testify that the bag is mine.’

“When the Kurd heard these words, he began to weep and sob, saying, ‘My lord the judge, this bag of mine is well known, and everything in it can be described. In this bag of mine are fortresses and castles, cranes and wild beasts, and men playing chess and draughts. In this bag of mine are a mare, two colts, a stallion, two horses, two long spears, a lion, two hares, a city, two villages, a whore, two cunning pimps, an effeminate man, two catamites, a blind man, two sighted men, a lame man, two cripples, two deacons, a patriarch, two monks, a judge, and two witnesses, who will testify that the bag is mine.’ The judge said, ‘What have you to say, Ali?’ I was filled with fury, Commander of the Faithful, and stepped forward, saying, ‘May God uphold our lord the judge…’” But dawn overtook Shahrazad, and she fell silent, leaving her tale untold.

When it was the two hundred and ninety-sixth night

She said: It has reached me, O fortunate King, that al-Ajami said: “I was filled with fury, Commander of the Faithful, and stepped forward, saying, ‘May God uphold our lord the judge! In this bag of mine are coats of mail and steel blades, arsenals of weapons, a thousand butting rams, sheepfolds, a thousand barking dogs, gardens and vineyards, flowers and fragrant herbs, figs, apples, and phantoms, bottles and goblets, lovely brides, songs and celebrations, tumult and shouting, spacious lands, prosperous brothers, handsome companions bearing swords and spears, bows and arrows, friends and lovers, comrades and companions, prisons for punishment, drinking companions, a lute and flutes, standards and banners, boys and girls, brides displayed in all their finery, singing slave girls, five Abyssinian women, three Indian women, four women of Medina, twenty Greek women, fifty Turkish women, seventy Persian women, eighty Kurdish women, ninety Georgian women, the Tigris and the Euphrates, a fisherman’s net, tinder and fire steel, Iram of the Pillars, a thousand catamites and pimps, parade grounds and stables, mosques and bathhouses, builders and merchants, a plank and a nail, a black slave with a pipe, a captain and a groom, cities and towns, a hundred thousand dinars, Kufa together with Anbar, twenty chests full of cloth, fifty storehouses of provisions, Gaza and Ascalon, all the land from Damietta to Aswan, the great hall of Chosroes Anushirwan, the kingdom of Solomon, all the land from the Valley of Nu‘man to Khurasan, Balkh and Isfahan, and all the land from India to the lands of the Sudan. It also contains—may God prolong the life of our lord the judge—fine undergarments and broad cloths, and a thousand sharp razors to shave the judge’s beard if he does not fear my vengeance and rule that the bag is mine!’

“When the judge heard the Kurd’s words, his wits reeled, and he said, ‘I take you for a pair of ill-omened rogues, or two godless heretics, making sport of judges and rulers without fear of reproach! No one has ever described, nor anyone ever heard, anything more astonishing than what you have described, and no one has ever spoken as you have spoken. By God, all the lands from China to the acacia tree of Umm Ghaylan, from Persia to the Sudan, and from the Valley of Nu‘man to Khurasan could not hold everything you have named, nor could anyone believe your claims! Is this bag a bottomless sea, or the Day of Judgment, when the righteous and the wicked are gathered together?’ Then the judge ordered the bag opened. It was opened, and inside were bread and lemons, cheese and olives. I flung the bag down before the Kurd and went on my way.” When the Caliph heard this tale from Ali al-Ajami, he fell back laughing and rewarded him handsomely.

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